A contemplation

Hey guys I guess I owe you an apology for my unexplained absence and for that I am truly sorry I suppose I have just been over taken with existence to be honest I haven’t really been busy just tired, not exhausted but tired if I were to say exactly what happened in the days of my absence I don’t think I could everything has kind of merged into an unintelligible mass, like a dark silt on the floor of the ocean of my existence.

Today I gawked through to the end of my 4pm to 1am shift and even now I am groggy but with all the thoughts in my head I decided to blog,

While on the first of two buses to take me home, I saw a student diligently studying a chemistry hand out and for some reason it reminded me so much of myself, and I suppose only he can tell whether he was getting it or not but it seemed like he was and it suddenly made me wonder “what happened?” Not to say I feel bad about where I’ve gotten but am I where I want to be?, in truth I don’t know, I remember when I was a kid with dozens of dreams and plans and thoughts of the future and now I’m just here ebbing on the shores of routine drowning in thoughts about the future and wondering if I am making the right decisions, the world it self seems to be on the brink of chaos and to add to it I’m caught in this mid life crisis, I suppose all my years of being rational didn’t adequately equip me for a future I didn’t have complete control over, a future such as this one.
Since I don’t have an immediate conclusion to my contemplation I’ll ask

“What happened?”

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