Today was a slow day, not to say that the other days of the past few weeks haven’t been slow but today was visibly slow and it put me through considerable angst, I spent much of it pining and watching the hours run by slowly like chilled molasses, and despite wanting to up and talk to my very few friends I found myself not being given in to the idea so instead I relished in my angst. Having awoke early today left me feeling dull and the days particular slowness didn’t help, in terms of my social anxiety I was satisfied, I saw noone and noone saw me, and that was good…in fact that was great. I suppose my relative isolation has been doing much to keep my anxiety at bay and I am forever grateful. I found out that despite not seeing some people physically having them in my life indirectly still gave me anxious moments and I spent much of the past few days blindly deleting numbers without giving a thought (otherwise I’d still be thinking and they’d still be here), ironically as is most times the case they don’t give half as much thought to me as I give to them so they will more than likely not be tremendously overwhelmed by my absence and to be honest that’s ok. My newest adaptation of allowing people to live the life they want to live so long as it does not directly encroach on mine has made steady strides, and I tend to try and remind myself of it every day.
By the time I finish writing,proof reading, and publishing this blog it will be time to watch the sunset from my roof and wait for the night sky to illuminate with distant stars and unknown goods and evils, and I’ll pine some more about the things I can’t control until tomorrow comes, with its own set of unknowns and buries today into the past.
As always thanks for reading I hope you guys are all well and I’ll see you soon.
-The Voyaging Voyager.