Yep…Nope…Nothing

Hey everyone, I had some time this morning so I thought I would throw in a short post.

My birthday is tomorrow and as part of my obligation to blackberry messenger (Yes I still own a blackberry… for all of you Apple and Android guys out there 🙂 ) I decided to forewarn everyone that my birthday was tomorrow in my status. Mainly because I was bored but also because it felt in a way dutiful, maybe because I spend too much time on my phone, who knows.

As usually the messages pile in asking me about plans and what I want and where I’m going.  I answer them with the smallest words I can possible find so that they don’t get the idea that I actually plan to do anything all out, otherwise the days following my birthday will be filled with questions about how I spent it, and I of course will like always never be in the mood for these questions.  the truth is I’m  doing absolutely nothing…out of the ordinary that is. The truth is I’m not overly concerned with birthday’s or the like. I won’t say that I will completely ignore it, but I wont go out of my way to enjoy it, more importantly I enjoy myself all the time and I certainly don’t need to wait until a date that happens once every year to do so.

I suppose this makes me sound unappreciative but to be honest I am not. I suppose I get more preoccupied by whether I watered my plants in wizard101, than what I’m going to do on my birthday. it may be funny to think that once I stop going to school for breaks I immediately lose track of the date and will not regain track until school starts again, I would imagine that this is unique to me but then again…

So as always thanks for reading, and I will see you soon.

bye…

I THOught I knEW But nOW i donT

Mother’s day was Sunday, and I had an excellent day with my mom, we stayed home… like we always do, but I guess this was an enjoyable stayed home, we didn’t do anything out of the ordinary but it felt, different in a way, more serene I guess.

Monday I had my second exam and I spent the day having mixed feelings, I suppose it always happens and I don’t think I can think of a time when I don’t have mixed feels about one thing or another. I suppose that’s just how I roll, always wondering about whether or not I’m making the right decision and over thinking everything, what to wear, when last I wore it, who saw me, I suppose my photographic memory is over burdened with continuous efforts to remember. I Can perhaps remember every single conversation I have had that was of significance to me since I was old enough to understand. I remember teachers from kindergarten and people who existed continuously in my life, my mom’s co-workers, my dads co-workers, I remember the porridge my mom made me when I was around four and a strange lady at my dad’s workplace fed it to me.

What appals me now I suppose is how uncertain my life has become, I had a fully functioning life plan since I was twelve and changed over from prep to high school and it entailed me growing up going to college getting a job then when I was well settled a child for whom I had already chosen name was already picked and their future decided. Now my plans seem thwarted and farther than I can imagine, the career dream of my life may be too far out of my reach at this present moment and even with focus and desire it doesn’t make it any closer, I suppose now I am tasked with having to reroute my travel, in order to reach the same destination that I have wanted since so many years.

I suppose new horizons and challenges are to be expected, but even then I had not anticipated that they would possible steer me off course entirely. I suppose as a sixteen year old I’m just over thinking this and should just let it fall into place, but I’m afraid that’s not how my brain works and as far as its concerned if it not certain then it is uncertain.

I suppose eventually I will learn to accept life as it comes and take it in strides, but up until that that point I will always say ” I thought I knew but now I don’t”

Until next time thanks for reading and I will see you soon bye 🙂

Mothers Day

Hey everyone I guess its time for my usual round of apologizing since I’ve been away from blogging for awhile haven’t I? I suppose its just my thing of disappearing and re appearing. I did however think it was a very significant date that required my time to express my gratitude and appreciation to all mothers, but more specifically the good mothers.
The mothers who exemplify the strength and integrity that women possess, the mother who protects and nurtures her child, who lives for her child even when they do not always live for her, who are strong enough to correct. But gentle enough to encourage, selfless enough to sacrifice, and willing enough to do what she believes, who raises her child not to replicate, but to create, to be themselves and love who they are. To know that she will be there in life and in death, who prepares their child for the worst and hopes for the best. The mother who takes joy in her child’s happiness far more than her own, who loves unconditionally and feels indefinitely, and cares profoundly,and dictates sternly.
The mother who isn’t afraid to speak her mind, the mother who knows but pretends she doesn’t, so that we will make our own mistakes, and seek support, the mother who let’s her child experience, life in its abundance.
The mother who is tender and loving and worth so much more than words can describe.
I want to wish all mothers wonder and prosperity beyond their dreams, I wish them happiness, and happy children.
Step-mothers,foster mothers and biological mothers all are mothers, not because of the title but rather because of the actions that the good one’s commit, they preserve and sustain and are perhaps the most beautiful creation that could have graced the Earth…

I WISH ALL MOTHERS A WONDERFUL MOTHER’S DAY
May you be graced with life to see many more…
To the mothers who I have met those of friends, those of family and my very own, a special greeting to you and yours on this a truly special day.