If thats true then this is your fault…

They say “your child takes after the person, you hate the most”, whether in looks, characteristics or otherwise. I can’t say I believe this whole hearted but, its a very very logical explanation as to why I seem to malfunction repeatedly no matter how hard a try to exert my focus on doing otherwise, and while I have not denied that some of the blame can be cast on me, I have to sometimes wonder if there is a slight possibility that I may very likely have been cursed, by my father’s loathing for my step sister, and some how her black sheep qualities became some how infused with my DNA during my conception, or during my development or what ever.
After analysis of almost every possibility, next to that I am suffering from Alzheimer’s or clinical depression that’s my next best guess, thanks to bing™ and google™ who are the most capable of convincing u that something is terrible wrong with you.
Despite how hard I have worked to not feel like a bum, it feels like I am being more and more consumed of late by an insatiable desire to relax and not have a care in the world even when my soul tells me that I should be productive, and do some work. I’m appalled that I can even manage to finish this blog without saying “I’ll do it later, and then it becomes a permanent draft just like the others”.
So if I’m right and my dad’s hate is what is really fueling this traumatic experience that I’m experiencing, then this is all his fault, I don’t mean to be a blamer but I can’t see any other logical explanation.
As always thanks for reading and I will see you soon.

Advertisements

Back at it…

I suppose after my last post many people thought I would give up blogging and go for something more resounding. To be honest I thought so too, in fact in my absence I did, weigh the thoughts of a new and more decisive hobby,however, I didn’t find any that called to me the way blogging did, so here I am back again, back to venting, trying to make you laugh trying to make myself laugh and most importantly sharing my life with whoever wants to read it, because like I’ve said so many times before that’s what blogging is all about.
I also thought I’d mention that I’ve been at my new house almost a month and a half now or maybe two, who knows, I still haven’t learned my neighbors names though and I hardly leave the house besides for school, on weekends I pretend to be in grave need of my mothers company, she obliges so I get to stay inside all day; with her. Maybe I get my love for the indoors from her. The tenants are a pain, and they somewhat make my life a living hell but I guess its their job, who knows? maybe its just that I’m not used to sharing a residence even if they aren’t necessarily in our way, but non the less.
I try to keep my room tidy now, but I suppose its just to some avail, but at least its a start.
I’m also a bit anxious and worried at the same time because I’ll be seventeen in a about a months time which is the last shot at getting on the right footing for when I’m an adult at eighteen. I don’t think my mom will kick me to the curb but I know she will turn up the pressure, I can’t blame here she wants what’s left of her life to enjoy and spend on her self and she deserves it, I think most moms deserve it, I say most because not all moms are as good as they should or could be.
Finals are up soon and I’m nervous because I have exam phobia, and although I probably haven’t said it to anyone “until now of course” I actually get whacked when I have an exam, its similar to what happens in math, just less intense.
This post was really just a timely update and I’ll try and have a more topic oriented one up in a few days as always thanks for reading and I’ll see you soon.