A look at the evening.

As I write this I am sitting inside a fast food restaurant waiting on my mom, despite being tired I’m forced to stay awake since sleeping is prohibited not that I would find any comfort or solace sleeping in a restaurant surrounded by people no matter how tired I may be.
What stands out most about this though is perhaps the people I see passing by, some my eyes lock with theirs others not so much, some of the eyes I feel before I glance up from my phone or my novel to catch the last piece of their interest.
In a way I’m intrigued by them,their expression, their actions, their movement its almost as if they exist with in a snow globe and I like a curious child is trying to decipher the many mysteries that seem trapped inside this crisp clear sphere.
There’s so much to see when you just sit still and watch, the way people run into each other,the smiles the hugs the words, those little things can tell how long its been since they last saw each other face to face.
In the short it takes for them to enter my view and quickly exit I can understand so much, their dismay, maybe a sense of anguish, but not all bad emotions capture my view some are all smiles, some with children, some children themselves, school uniforms worn out from the days frivolous activities. Some with bags of possessions newly purchased or fairly weathered, like the sidewalk.
I imagine the sidewalk sees even more than I, maybe it sees their desires, their feelings, maybe it holds a brief conversation with their emotions collecting memories and thoughts. It funny to think about the sidewalk doing all these things but who’s to say it doesn’t.
The sky now a light ash grey seems to inspire the mood’s of my passerbys they seem now focused, but less hasty as though with the suns rays diminished they must carefully spend their energy.
As I draw my post to a close I watch the evening in all its mysteriousness, and charge you to just for doings sake try to watch how the evening unfolds around you.
As I bid you fair well until my next post continue finding new ways to spend your internet life.


Why am I here again?

I am now in a sense back in the school groove, back to getting up early and getting home late,feeling tired even after waking up and the genuine sense of loathing education, not to say i don’t value my education or understand its purpose but rather to say that i just don’t like school, and the majority of what it entails then again I don’t think I have ever met anyone who has actually declared a genuine love for school, “a like” maybe but never a “love” and it really draws me towards asking myself the question “Why am I here again?” Because analysis of the situation would show that people spend an awful amount of time at school. So the question is why do we loathe something we have been forced to do for so long? why is it the our dread towards school does not pour out into a devastating anguish that destroys us or those around us? I think it is perhaps far beyond my knowledge to comprehend or even attempt to decipher, to be honest I don’t think I could handle such a proposal. All i can say though is that so far upon my return to school my loathing has increased significantly, from homework, to more work, to new teachers that are just a lot less than what I had hoped they would’ve been, school has once again out done itself in all ways possible. making It probably a very low number on my list of  things i dislike.

If i never knew what it felt like to be tired last night was it.

Last night was perhaps one the most dreadful nights in my life, so much so that it will probably live long enough in my memory to be something I tell my grand kids, provided I get some. It started like every other night really i came home flustered as usual after school had taken its tax toll on my body. while languishing i realized I had an entire project to do in one night. It may sound absurd but that was exactly what i had to do, I started around 6:00pm, my progress slow and turbulent, despite this I continued trudging on, page after page minutes soon turned into hours, as the hours went by I could feel my body beginning to fail starting with my eyes, the monitor soon looked like a blazing inferno. my eyes watered and throbbed as my internal clock was profusely attempting to convince my brain that sleep was the next  and urgent order. At roughly 12 am I was practically no where as the time winded on I soon started to become so tired it was painful in a literal sense. Coupled with blinding light and angina and migraine I forced my body against all laws to continue through the process just so I could get a little rest before school, this turned out to be non existent. By 5am i was just getting wrapped up which meant I would have absolutely no time to sleep what so ever despite my anguish and even now as I write the the pain still remains. I can say I am happy though to have accomplished my goal,and reap its perhaps minute fruits. I can imagine many would consider this to be grave procrastination but i can say though in my defense it really was not.

As always stay safe, and continue to find